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- What to Do When Your Child Thinks Something Is Unfair
- 7 Real-World Issues That Can Allow Students To Tackle Big Challenges
- The problem isn’t that life is unfair – it’s your broken idea of fairness
You could learn that someone you trusted to care for your mother took advantage of her good nature. In some cases, we can. We do, however, need to accept that our response to perceived wrongs affects our ability to right them. If you struggle with this as well, recognize when you start fixating on blaming thoughts, and visualize a stop sign in your head.
It is what it is, and I can either accept it or try to change it. In order to think rationally, we need to recognize that our biological reaction is just that, and consciously choose not to let it dictate our actions. According to psychologist and author Marcia Reynolds, when we feel slighted or cheated, and react emotionally, we then use our logical brain to rationalize that response.
In some cases, when we think rationally, we may realize an unfair situation is not a big deal in the grand scheme of things—when someone cuts us off and runs a red light, for example. This leads to the last step. We can change how we respond to them and choose to help educate and positively influence them.
We can support causes that seek to prevent future tragedies, or even spearhead our own.
Sometimes there will be unfair things that we simply need to accept, and it might feel instinctive to fight that. Lori Deschene is the founder of Tiny Buddha and co-producer of the newly launched podcast Next Creator Up , which helps people overcome their blocks and create what they want to create.
MORE IN LIFE
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What to Do When Your Child Thinks Something Is Unfair
Think Web Strategy. You could find out you make less than someone else in the same job.
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- Common struggles?
You could lose a promotion to someone else who is far less qualified. Both jealousy and envy originate from the primitive fight-or-flight response. When you feel under attack, your brain triggers a warning signal. Our tribal ancestors lived in fear of arousing the envy of the gods by their pride or good fortune. Jealousy and envy are still the cause of most current conflicts both in the professional and personal world. Envy drives to self-sabotage causing wars and others conflicts. It typically becomes a group phenomenon, and turns to hatred and assaults against others, as Frank J.
Ninivaggi explains on Envy Theories. Life is not fair. There will always be people with more talents, health, possessions or reputation than yourself. To let go of these two negative emotions, we must thoroughly understand where those feelings come from. And stop seeing yourself as a failure.
7 Real-World Issues That Can Allow Students To Tackle Big Challenges
Buddhism teaches us that whatever causes our suffering has its roots in the Three Poisons: Ignorance, Hate, and Greed. Ignorance is the mother of all poisons. When we see that someone is doing better than us, rather than focus on how we can improve, we get stuck on the current status.
When we compare, we see things as static.
We look outside what others have rather than inside what we can change. We create our own poison and then drink it. Ignorance is clinging to people, objects or emotions. Hate arises from ignorance.
The problem isn’t that life is unfair – it’s your broken idea of fairness
We believe the world revolves around us. We want to stand out from the universe instead of seeing our connectedness to everything and everyone else. Envy and jealousy are just defense mechanisms. Unfortunately, delusion creates a vicious cycle. Not only it frustrates us; we crave for more. Attachment motivates envy and jealousy. We direct our envy at those whom we compare ourselves such as your co-workers, friends, relatives or neighbors.
A picture-perfect society is doing us no good by encouraging envy and fruitless comparisons. So, how can you avoid this lethal poison? If ignorance is the mother of all poisons, then wisdom is the universal antidote. Being wise is appreciating the water around you. Wisdom is listening to other points of view rather than discriminating; to carefully examine facts even if they contradict our beliefs; to be objective rather than biased, and to always be ready to change our beliefs when opposite facts are presented to us.
Certainty can cripple your wisdom, as I wrote here. Embracing a skeptical mindset will help you see life sharply. The path of just believing what you are told is easy. The path towards wisdom requires confidence, courage, adaptability, and patience. The antidote for greed is generosity ; the one for hate is loving kindness. Letting go of your possessions and relationships requires wisdom too. They can contribute to your joy, but your happiness does not depend on them. You stop looking at what others have. You free yourself from owning or being owned.
To know yourself is to accept yourself. Reflect without judging yourself. Are you jealous? Are you always comparing yourself to others?